tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72261106696469943502024-02-18T22:21:37.164-08:00Gus the Gregarious Ghostwriting DogYes, it's true. I am the real writer behind the books supposedly penned by Heather Horrocks, who claims to write romantic comedies. murder mysteries, and inspirational books.Gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03849455969881044743noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7226110669646994350.post-73800628977554357732012-02-09T11:02:00.000-08:002012-02-09T11:05:15.324-08:00The KEY to Writing SuccessMy pet and I went to a little place called Harrisburg for a week-long writing retreat. She brought along her friend and fellow writer, Diane, and the three of us hung out and wrote books. Actually, the truth is that I wrote Heather’s words while she took a vacation. I created an entire novella for her. Sure, she and Diane helped brainstorm. A little. But I came up with a funny little novella called Pride and Precipitation. The title was Heather’s. It’s pretty silly, but I try to humor her when possible. After all, she does control the biscuit flow. <br /><br />I know she won’t have told this story yet, so I’m going to tell it here. <br /><br />After she and Diane drove into St. George for a Texas Roadhouse steak dinner (all I got was dog food. Okay, okay, my pet brought me some little pieces of steak. I did write her book, after all. I deserved steak all week. But I digress.) <br /><br />Anyway, when they returned back to the house, where I had been working on the first scenes of Heather’s novella (I do love to write), I heard the car. Excitedly I waited for them to come in. <br /><br />With my superior sense of hearing, I also heard my pet exclaim, “I don’t have the keys!” And then a frantic exchange. Finally, my pet said, “There might be one window we can open.” (She was wrong. Her hubby fixed it last time they came down, but she didn’t know that yet.)<br /><br />So they came around where I could see them from my writing chair. Diane brought up a key and tried to pop the screen off, only it bent her key. So my pet started reaching into her pockets and pulled out a ring of something. Keys, I think. (Get it? Keys? Yeah, well, she didn’t. Read on.) <br /><br />My pet used the little screwdriver on her key ring, but it wasn’t long enough. Then she used her car key, but it was too thick. Then, as she reached for a third key, I could see the lights come on. When she realized she was trying to break into the house with the key that would open the door, she and Diane burst out laughing. <br /><br />I kind of shook my head as I thought of a scene from a movie: “I have a credit card.” “No, this lock works on an entirely different (whatever, I forget exactly).” “No, you don’t understand. I have a credit card!” <br /><br />Hey, it was funny in the movie. And, yes, I admit it was funny in real life, too. I tried not to laugh out loud, though. I didn't want to hurt her feelings because I'm just a nice dog. <br /><br />The key to her writing success isn't a key, though, it's me. Don't you agree that it's a darn good thing she has me to write her books?Gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03849455969881044743noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7226110669646994350.post-70127670504037943422011-12-20T12:04:00.000-08:002011-12-20T12:11:01.932-08:00My Wild Night OutOr should I say my freaking cold night out?!? <br /><br />Luckily it was a month ago (sorry, I've been busy putting up all of my ebooks for Heather) so the weather was not nearly so bitter cold. Thank goodness. <br /><br />It was a comedy of errors. No, that's not quite right. It was more like a tragedy of Biblical proportions! <br /><br />My pet, Heather, always checks on me at night. But (1) she was sick that day. So sick she went to bed early. Usually everyone is in the house for the night. But (2) that night, my buddy Jack and his pet Jarom were in and out of the house because Jarom was packing his pickup to leave the following morning. I followed them outside. And back in. Out. In. Out. In. Out..... Hey, what the freak? I'm still out here!!! <br /><br />I was outside for about five hours. Shivering. I think I love 20% of my body weight from shivering! It was horrible. <br /><br />Luckily, a neighbor was driving, early, to the store, and saw me. I ran right over and jumped in his very warm car. Ahhhh. I was rescued. Words like 'guardian angels' were bandied about. <br /><br />The only good thing to come of the whole experience is that everyone in the house felt horribly guilty and has pampered me more than usual. Long live me! <br /><br />Actually, one more good thing. Now people in the house know I'm a lot tougher than I look. It's a common mistake. I mean, come on. I look fluffy and cute. Period. Bwahahahaha. <br /><br /><br /><br />Hope your Christmas is warm and by a fireplace. No shivering for any of us ever again.Gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03849455969881044743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7226110669646994350.post-19095895132006921612011-04-19T15:10:00.001-07:002011-04-19T17:13:33.964-07:00TWO PAWS UP FOR SERENDIPITY BY DIANE DARCY ... AND A BIG MOVE FOR ME!<div>Hi, my friends. </div><div><br /></div><div>I just posted my first official book review and the first post in a series called To E or Not to E (eBook, that is) ... but they're on my new blog site. Please follow me there. </div><div><br /></div><div>I'm moving my blog to my pet's website at www.HeatherHorrocks.weebly.com.</div><div><br /></div><div>I hope to see you all there. Please leave me a comment so I know you made it safely. </div><div><br /></div><div>Thanks, Gus </div>Gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03849455969881044743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7226110669646994350.post-85760410099052255482011-01-10T19:18:00.001-08:002011-01-11T15:07:24.049-08:00MORE AUDITION PHOTOS<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8IQev98o7N8U9iLnkqFiehDtc8CMh-2AlcNGTO6pW9SAbT0dQI7n_nUWmdQnlvcbsYW8_AZexR7Kvdsqr4tbIn4C-X5J3iJAH-g_2Dn131rUuZXfdBtolv9hiqOfYrkGZ6wzjHw17axMB/s1600/Killer+stare.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 239px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8IQev98o7N8U9iLnkqFiehDtc8CMh-2AlcNGTO6pW9SAbT0dQI7n_nUWmdQnlvcbsYW8_AZexR7Kvdsqr4tbIn4C-X5J3iJAH-g_2Dn131rUuZXfdBtolv9hiqOfYrkGZ6wzjHw17axMB/s320/Killer+stare.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5560762983882074690" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik7RwvF7HfsiYntsJFDJ-kh1y4NUqaFjb8mSJVlKpP_yHhp0bDhRDuteW5w4akpNo9RpuDmjyFsS_rDeHUse1MNzRpe_-2dJvRskbtGmY9Msj19jLITOP45SMbRHuwLqkt5WgkO7wqhLEx/s1600/Killed+weasel.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 239px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik7RwvF7HfsiYntsJFDJ-kh1y4NUqaFjb8mSJVlKpP_yHhp0bDhRDuteW5w4akpNo9RpuDmjyFsS_rDeHUse1MNzRpe_-2dJvRskbtGmY9Msj19jLITOP45SMbRHuwLqkt5WgkO7wqhLEx/s320/Killed+weasel.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5560762973084024306" /></a><br />I thought you'd like to see more audition photos. <div><br /></div><div>These two are of me with the weasel I took down. </div><div><br /></div><div>Notice my killer stare.</div><div><br /></div><div>The producers especially liked the menace in my steely eyes.<div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div>Gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03849455969881044743noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7226110669646994350.post-22014598998954089002011-01-10T19:18:00.000-08:002011-01-11T15:06:36.198-08:00MORE AUDITION PHOTOSI thought you'd like to see more photos. These two are of me with the weasel I took down. <div><br /></div><div>Notice my killer stare. The producers especially liked the menace in my steely eyes. <div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div>Gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03849455969881044743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7226110669646994350.post-52360999184590802242011-01-10T19:01:00.000-08:002011-01-11T15:10:37.428-08:00I GOT THE PART!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJg-mlLIkJ5jdjIGzswvFCcSrBXpyhrDHzc3VLkqvbbhdlfLZIMiP61kL6LQPYKuxRXuhquoK2pG3o3K4cmE5kjwD9YWFIbG0N9QoGUua4NB6RxR1agsK4Y5Ske_YTO38deFopCemacgIZ/s1600/Oh+yeah+he%2527s+tough.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 239px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJg-mlLIkJ5jdjIGzswvFCcSrBXpyhrDHzc3VLkqvbbhdlfLZIMiP61kL6LQPYKuxRXuhquoK2pG3o3K4cmE5kjwD9YWFIbG0N9QoGUua4NB6RxR1agsK4Y5Ske_YTO38deFopCemacgIZ/s320/Oh+yeah+he%2527s+tough.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5560761232513059602" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu5JUqB5vS_vVXldNR7ZIiMkksasI5MX_nXP7dlnKvRkJCdpRaWZUd-zNTlYIe6yZkdRknZfdKqc6zXt9Uqm8Gc4BGh58nwQzTGg4nDJuM8Jg6I5KaMITpZipgsC1RHIKWH_TN9Y_AMtEJ/s1600/Tashie+on+the+attack.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 239px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu5JUqB5vS_vVXldNR7ZIiMkksasI5MX_nXP7dlnKvRkJCdpRaWZUd-zNTlYIe6yZkdRknZfdKqc6zXt9Uqm8Gc4BGh58nwQzTGg4nDJuM8Jg6I5KaMITpZipgsC1RHIKWH_TN9Y_AMtEJ/s320/Tashie+on+the+attack.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5560761222465628210" /></a>I got the part! And so did my sweetie! <div><br /></div><div>As you can see by the attached audition photos (I'll send more later), I can snarl with the big dogs. </div><div><br /></div><div>Admit it. I look tough. </div><div><br /></div><div>The producers agreed. I'm tough enough to play a shark for Land Shark Week videos. </div><div><br /></div><div>I'm working on the scripts and they're going to be great. </div><div><br /></div><div>I'm also posting a photo of my leading lady shark, Tashie. Notice how tough she looks in her skull-and-crossbones. That is four pounds of pure mean. Oh, yeah, this photo was taken just seconds before Tashie took this woman down. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03849455969881044743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7226110669646994350.post-33543577458620022592010-10-20T10:37:00.000-07:002010-10-20T10:39:14.299-07:00I JUST AUDITIONED FOR A STARRING ROLE!I'm very excited. I'll post my audition picture soon to show you how tough I can be. The role will be very demanding. I have been cast (theme music from Jaws here) to play ... the fearsome shark! My victims are being lined up even as I write this. This is a wonderful project and I'm thrilled to be part of it.Gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03849455969881044743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7226110669646994350.post-20163821295405396332010-05-19T09:47:00.000-07:002010-05-19T09:52:21.793-07:00Sometimes people are funnyMy human just had her birthday. Can you imagine it? She is just one year older? Soon I will be older than she is and I'm already much more mature and wise.<br /><br />Her man (who thinks he is the alpha-dog in the home, and I humor him) ordered her a Kindle for a gift. You'd have thought he gave her a truckload of dog biscuits. Get a grip, woman.<br /><br />Anyway, the Kindle is something she can put all her books on, apparently. And, just because it was funny, a Kandle was also ordered. The Kandle, as you have probably already grasped, is a light that attaches to the Kindle. The Kandle arrived yesterday. This morning, she told him her Kindle would be arriving soon to go with her Kandle. And he said, "So you're waiting for your Kandle-holder." Okay, maybe you had to be there. And I was. Under the table. I hear so many juicy tidbits there, and wait to eat more.<br /><br />If it's your birthday today, happy birthday. I wish six more years added onto it for you, as I'm sure you do, also.<br /><br />Gotta go. She's racing for the front door muttering, "It's here!" and I must go make sure she's safe.Gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03849455969881044743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7226110669646994350.post-80484018629476787672010-05-06T14:33:00.001-07:002010-05-07T22:34:02.660-07:00Coco the amazing bed and breakfast dogOne of my admirers, Kathleen, who I have met and who (of course) fell madly in love with me and my cuteness (she's kinda cute, herself), introduced me to Coco, another dog witg a blog, and I want to share it with you. Coco sounds like my kinda dog.<br /><br />Check out Coco, a Bichon Frise who writes about living in a bed and breakfast in Washington. The inn's site is <a href="http://www.innatroosterhill.com/">http://www.innatroosterhill.com/</a> and Coco's blog is at <a title="http://wherescoco.blogspot.com/2010/04/my-weight.html" href="">http://wherescoco.blogspot.com/2010/04/my-weight.html</a><a href="http://www.innatroosterhill.com/"> </a>. I want to meet this amazing Coco!<br /><br />And I'd like to meet you, too, because I suspect you are cute, too. I have a feeling about people, you know, and I have already sniffed your hand. Trust me. My cuteness would never lie.Gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03849455969881044743noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7226110669646994350.post-10414292059419389982010-04-28T10:11:00.001-07:002010-04-28T10:13:33.833-07:00I know a secret!Do you find it interesting that people will talk about just about anything -- even a big secret -- and not think that perhaps the smartest animal in the room is sitting right there?<br /><br />So it's true. I know a secret. A big one. A new series has been asked for and I've been working overtime to give poor overworked Heather some inspiration for awesome titles (they're the only kind I like).<br /><br />But she begged me not to reveal the entire secret, and I just can't resist those big brown eyes, so I will keep it secret. For now.<br /><br />But stay tuned. There are big changes coming.Gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03849455969881044743noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7226110669646994350.post-37712062421632190042010-03-25T12:03:00.001-07:002010-03-25T12:32:12.874-07:00Great new title!It's true. I have done it yet again.<br /><br />My coauthor was told she probably wouldn't be able to use her title <em>"Bat Out of Heck"</em> and so she's been trying to come up with a new one. And I've been trying to give it to her, only her mind has been so distracted by her son moving to Pennsylvania that she hasn't been listening. But (finally!) I got through! I looked exceedingly cute, she picked me up, and I got close enough o use my superior mind control technique. (I always use my powers for good, of course.)<br /><br />She loved it! So now the romantic comedy about a NASCAR driver and a woman with a lot of speeding tickets is titled <em>Head Over Wheels.</em> Good for a smile, right?<br /><br />How do I come up with such good titles? It's not easy. I don't settle for just any old thing. I may walk low to the ground, but my expectations are very high, and a title has to stand tall to meet them. The secret is to sniff a title -- a great one smells delicious.<br /><br />Great titles are so much fun, whether they're movie titles or book titles. I love titles that give the scent of the entire movie or book.<br /><em></em><br /><em>Holes</em> ... <em>Star Wars</em> ... <em>Groundhog Day</em> ... <em>Murder Boogies With Elvis ... </em><em>Free Agency--And How to Enforce It</em> (yes, that is another one of mine)<br /><br />I'm thinking of teaching classes about it, but where would I hide such a big pile of biscuits? Maybe in the shed ...Gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03849455969881044743noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7226110669646994350.post-61898028808001618232010-03-20T18:54:00.000-07:002010-03-20T18:57:05.624-07:00Playmates Who LeaveI miss my buddy. He's going to Pennsylvania for two years, and that means two years that he won't be playing with me, pouncing next to me, pretending to be a puppy. I haven't even felt like writing the last few days.<br /><br />Why do life things have to be so hard? Why do my playmates keep leaving? First Buford -- the best dog friend a little guy could have -- and my puppy buddy.<br /><br />Maybe I'll write tomorrow. Today I just feel like snuggling up to somebody who is still here and reassuring myself that they're not leaving, too.Gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03849455969881044743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7226110669646994350.post-5063893985461209482010-03-18T15:26:00.000-07:002010-03-18T15:35:47.464-07:00The Plot ThickensI'm back. My coauthor is taking a nap because her son just left yesterday for two years and she's been crying. So this is my chance to get on the computer and write.<br /><br />I've been thinking about plots lately. Lots and lots of plots. Why? Because I've gotten so good at making good plots, natch.<br /><br />I want to share a story about an art teacher (who must have had a cute little dog feeding him inspiration) who decided to try an experiment. On the first day of class, he divided the class down the middle. The right side of the room would get graded on the quantity of pots, something like 50 pounds of pots would earn an A, 40 pounds a B, and so on. The left side of the room only had to make one pot--but it had to be perfect. So the class got busy, the right side throwing pots like crazy, the left side designing the perfect pot and studying how to make it just right.<br /><br />The quantity-versus-quality experiment. On the last day of class, the teacher brought in a set of scales. To his surprise, he found that the best pots were not made by the students who had simply studied how to make pots. They were thrown by the students who had been actually making lots of pots, pounds and pounds of pots, who were forced to learn as they went.<br /><br />This applies to books, too. Think quantity plots versus quality plots. The way to achieve quality plots is to increase your quantity of plots. You can study and take classes and attend workshops and conferences for years, but you will learn the most when you actually begin to work. It's true. Writers write. Regularly. Ruff said.<br /><br />It applies to dogs, too. If you study how to be cute, it helps a little. But if you just start being cute, day after day, you gets treats.<br /><br />Hey, this is good stuff. You should all send me one doggy biscuit (beef flavored is best) or a can of tuna. I have a can opener and a human who knows how to use it.Gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03849455969881044743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7226110669646994350.post-72089872585819414022010-03-10T19:14:00.001-08:002010-03-11T19:29:38.533-08:00You can keep a secret, right?Do you know how difficult it is for a little dog to get on to the computer and blog? I hope you appreciate my sacrifice in bringing the truth to you all.<br /><br />Contrary to common belief, I have ghostwritten several books. Perhaps you've heard of them? How to Stuff a Wild Zucchini? My idea. Old Maid of Honor? Sunbeams on the Loose? My sense of humor comes out in my titles, don't you agree? Women Who Knew the Mortal Messiah? Yes, even dogs have a spiritual side.<br /><br />But I'm not all fluffiness, as you'll learn if you ever cross me. I can bite your ankle and I can also also bump you off in my mysteries. Yes, I write mysteries. Murder mysteries. But don't worry; people who give me biscuits and back scratches will definitely stay on my good side.<br /><br />Wait? Do you hear that? My writer friend is coming. I've got to jump down before she learns about my blog. I mean, she's not going to want the whole world knowing her deep, dark secret.<br /><br />You can keep a secret, can't you?<br /><br />Gotta run!Gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03849455969881044743noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7226110669646994350.post-20282325889334875432010-03-10T09:23:00.000-08:002010-03-11T11:11:39.987-08:00Why do guys hate being called cute?I don't get it. Most guys hate it when a female calls them 'cute.' They prefer the more rugged term 'handsome.'<br /><br />Get with it, guys. Cute can take you a lot closer to your goal. With handsome, you have to open doors, pay for meals, and fight off random attackers.<br /><br />With cute, you get dog biscuits, back rubs, and lots of smoochies. And in the case of danger, you get picked up and carried to safety. Oh, and did I mention the yummy dog biscuits? (Of course with cute you also get annoying requests to 'come' and 'sit' and 'dance.')<br /><br />In case you're wondering, yes, I am a very good dancer.<br /><br />And I am very, very cute. So cute that even though I'm not supposed to be in my devotee's living room today, I'll be in there within an hour. Let's face it -- how can they resist the cuteness of me? Trust me, I'll be in there, lounging on my comfortable pillow, while she and two of her fellow authors plot another book. This month it won't be her book, but when it is her turn, my devotee (the not-nearly-famous-enough Heather Horrocks) ends up with a book that she will then very nicely ask me to help her write. And I will, because I'm just that kind of dog.<br /><br />Sweet. Loveable. Incredibly talented and generous.<br /><br />And humble.Gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03849455969881044743noreply@blogger.com3